Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
