Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
