why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
