Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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