i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
