i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
