I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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