just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
