I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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