Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
