You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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