plz talk dirty to me
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I want to stick my p in your. b.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
