before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
