I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
