i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
