I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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