i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
he fucked my hip out of place.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I want to fling myself into the sun
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
