I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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