I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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