thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
