they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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