quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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