I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize