Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
