He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
