My nipple is on Facebook.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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