i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
