We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
