Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
