By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
