I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
