Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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