you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
