I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
