yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
