He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
