Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
