I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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