it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
