My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
