how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
did i just pee glitter
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
