Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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