is your mom at the bar?
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize