I wanna passion pit in your ass
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
