I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
