my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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