She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I will be naked everywhere
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
