So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
