my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
