Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Randomize