That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
