you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
