when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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