im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
