You smell like stripper and shame
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
