hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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