Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
