Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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