dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
