your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize