Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
