yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
