Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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