so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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