It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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