Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
