It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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