I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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