Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
