Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
