ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I need to wash the frat house off of me
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
