the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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