He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
