i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
