that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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