Three words: puerto rican gang bang
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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